La Pitonisa Lola! (Los Archivos Deck Name Also-Winner)

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mattastrophic · 3083

DID YOU REALLY THINK A COMPETITION ABOUT FUNNY SPANISH DECK NAMES WOULD YIELD ONLY ONE WINNER???

So as our good friend and prolific pun-maker/deck-builder @StartWithTheName explains here, the Spanish Arkham community held a contest to find the greatest funny pun deck title the world could produce, and when the smoke cleared, El Pulpo Poli was the result.

But the story wasn't over. Also emerging from the melee of fantastic puns was another champion, albeit one so unusual, so mystical, so otherworldly, so... Lola Hayes... that a specialist had to be brought in. An Arthur Van Helsing of deck creations, or so I'm told.

Presenting @tabernero87's "La Pitonisa Lola!"

"Mazo de Lola Hayes, con Anna Kaslow, Observado, Colgante de luna y todas las cartas tarot que gustes para echar bien las cartas, 2 velas rituales opcionales por si necesitas ponerle 2 velas negras al primigenio de turno."

original entry here

For some background, "La Pitonisa" Lola Montero is a retired tarot reader and fortune-teller whose antics involving putting dark curses on callers who troll her over the phone led to some media renown. And some pretty hilarious meme-worthy moments. She was most famous for her promise of lighting two black candles as she cursed those who invited her wrath.

So, let's bring this concept to life, of a tarot reader who makes use of an inordinate amount of candles and is perfectly willing to curse those who make her angry!

Where's the best place to find candles?

The artwork!

Our tarot-reader has a lot of candles with her, starting with the classic Ritual Candles and expanding on it with cards like Death • XIII, David Renfield, Key of Ys (TWO candles!), Delve Too Deep (seriously-raging candles!), Logical Reasoning (a puzzle-solving foreground candle!), and Ariadne's Twine (LOTS of candles!). Sadly for our fortune-teller, though, Doomed also features a candle in its artwork. But so does the very-thematic The Black Book!

As a tarot-reader, she's also got some Tarot cards, and her assistant Anna Kaslow (another candle!) lets Lola play both her Death • XIII and Four of Cups Tarots at once, both with candles. But that's not all! Observed and Damned let her bring in even more Tarot cards from outside the game for plenty of tarot deck draws! Unfortunately, cards like Moon Pendant and other Tarot cards did not make the cut. They don't have any candles. The bone candle-holders on The World • XXI don't count.

With all these candles and tarots occupying the deck space, all that's left is the magic that holds it all together. The Scroll of Secretses to search through your deck and combo with your Twine. The Backpacks to search for your Scrolls of Secrets and Keys of Ys. The Haste to get good use out of all your stat boosts. The #Riastrads to slay your enemies. The Promise of Powers and Savants to boost your skill tests. The Tempt Fate to fill that one last leftover deck slot.

I lie, there's one other thing. La Pitonisa Lola curses those who anger her!

This is where Geas comes in. Sure, it's a pretty amazing card for boosting all four stats in a deck doesn't have a lot of reason to draw cards during her turn, but it's also a source of her revenge! She can break the Geas by drawing a card, cursing her former friends ten times over and then playing "I'm outta here!" to get the hell out and leave them to clean up their own mistakes. "Basura! Basura!!!"

CREDITS

More wonderful content from Los Archivos de Arkham can be found at:

Website: https://archivosarkham.com/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ArchivosArkham

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