Reliable

It's hours past sunset when you lurch back to your Arkham apartment, covered in the grime and stench of the city. Your skin is dry and crusted with blood and sweat. The soles of your shoes stick to the floor, leaving prints of sewage and guts as each step peels sickeningly off the dusty hardwood. And worst of all, your trench coat reeks of the cultist you "investigated" with your vicious fist.

He smelled fishy... but now you do.

You stumble into your bathroom and turn on the lights. As your eyes adjust, you stare dumbfounded into the mirror. You're haggard and unkempt. You barely recognize your face in the mirror.

You run your hands under the tap as a cold panic rises from your throat. This can't be happening. Not now. Not like this. Wringing your hands desperately under the hot water, you shudder at the harrowing thought... You're going to be late for your date with that cute, witchy redhead. And worse, she's going to think you're stinky and gross. The thought is enough to give you mental trauma.

You take a deep breath. People die when they panic. People live when they breathe. You're Roland Banks, gosh darn it! You're prepared for the worst.

With your wits about you, you remember the small vial in the back of your cabinet. You open the drawer and get to work, flinging medicines, bottles, and old towels aside, digging through your belongings recklessly, but thoroughly. You take extra care to set aside your straight-edge razor (you'll need that later), then finally, you find a black bottle filled with liquid purification. A scent that, if you're not careful, will make every woman want to breach the door.

It's just what you need. You grin manically and hold the bottle up to the mirror, label facing outward for product placement.

INTRODUCING: Reliable, by Roland Banks

With one spritz of the atomizer, the scent overpowers the stench of your trench coat. It smells like sandalwood, walnut, iron and salt. You're in the thick of it now.

Nothing can stop you from standing confidently together with your date.

You're daring! You're special! You're...

Reliable.